So then I was like…

The best one I got is when; One of my co-workers went to tell the boss that he wouldn't be able to work the next day.
V says, "Hey! D. I won't be able to work on thursday." D's response, V. Do you know what teabagging is?
I was like, what did he just say!?!?

My wife and I were at a dinner banquet. There was an important guest at an honor seat. He was a pastor. My wife is from Africa and has an accent. I introduced the pastor to my wife and told her, This is Dr. Faulkenberry. He was thrilled to meet her, yet when she replied, his name wasn't quite pronounced correctly. I was so embarrassed. I went home, and she said, what was that guys name again? Mr. F*ckingbarry? I died laughing. I couldn't help it. My wife doesn't cuss, and was innocent to the whole thing. She was so offended that I was laughing, but then I explained it to her and had to let her know what it meant. Talk about a moment. We still laugh about it every now and then.

looks nice, I'd love to try it

Jawbone is the niche in earsets.

This literally happened to me today. I was in one of my labs, teaching my students. It was around 1 in the afternoon and I could have sworn I heard this.

(Student 1) "So are you going with us to the strip club?"
(Student 2) *points to lab* "Umm, if I get done with this early then yea...."

(2 minutes later)
(Student 2) "okay lets go, I'll meet you there"

I have NO idea what they were actually talking about, I just get the impression it wasn't actually going to a strip club.

Well this was sort of a misunderstanding. Where I used to work we were on the phones constantly. One of my co-workers was on the phone with her fiancé even more so there was one time when we were a little slow that a customer called up and at the end of the conversation, just before she said goodbye, my co-worker said "I love you" and paused. Suddenly the female customer on the other side started laughing and as my co-worker stumbled over her apology I busted out laughing. That is my story (or hers but I am telling it).

At airport security this one guy ahead of me got selected for "additional screening".

So the security guy frisks him closely and thoroughly and then the guy getting checked tells thim that after that he needs a smoke after that handling.

The security guard thought this guy was threatening him cause he motioned smoking a cigarette.
I swear like 20 security staff surrounded him and started cornoring him.

Poor guy.... but it was funny as hell to watch!

A couple weekends ago my wife and I went on a marriage retreat. On the way up there we were discussing what to do with our free time on Saturday night. I mentioned going to play Putt Putt and as usual my wife who only half listens to me looks at me and asks "Bump Butts?" looking very confused. I laughed and played along and said "Sure" as if she was propositioning me then after having another laugh divulged the truth of what I said. It was a great way to start the weekend.

Ahh the wonders of misunderstanding….I once saw a guy going up to a neighbor’s door with a machete in hand. The guy looked all sweaty and his clothes were all dirty. My neighbor opens the door and looking at the guy holding the machete naturally screamed and shut the door. You could hear the guy outside in garbled English saying: “Mister I cut!”, “Mister I cut”… Then my neighbor screaming from inside the house yelling: “Go away or I’m calling the police!!!!!”.
After several minutes a cop car arrives and a gun wielding dude orders the machete guy to drop it and drop to the floor. Guy kept screaming “I CUT, I CUT!!!!!! as he was being handcuffed.
Turns out the poor guy was a Haitian migrant helping his cousin who was the house landscaper and had just left him behind while he went to get gas for the lawnmower. All he wanted was to know was whether my neighbor wanted some palm fronds to be trimmed down…
:-)

here's mine, I hope it qualifies:

I work for a company called Cook (med device company) and lately we have begun working with a company in China that does some unique manufacturing. The emails are always interested back and forth as I believe their emails to me are translated before arriving, so punctuation and grammar are always off, but the messaage comes through and it's no worry. One time the individual we were corresponding with typed out the name of one of our sister companies with the same name, except it was spelled C-O-_-K, insert a "C" instead of an "O" and BAM! you've got the name of a different company altogether. The funny part was we didn't even catch it initially because a CK if you speed read isn't much off of a OK, anyway, it made for a good laugh, and we've only seen it one time :), and by that I mean the mispelling....

I walked into a former colleagues office one day and she was eating a sandwich. She's Vietnamese so English isn't her first language of course. I asked her, "So what is that? Vietnamese bologna?" She said, "No, it's mosquito roasted turkey." I laughed out loud and she was kind of offended until I corrected her and then we both had a good laugh about it.

fo sho