Editor’s Note: This will be my final contribution for TheCellularGuru.com. I have had the opportunity to work with a number of incredible people in my time here, and I am enriched, humbled and grateful for the opportunity. Thank you for reading, sharing, criticizing and complimenting; it has meant the world to me. See you on the other side…

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Dear HTC Desire HD,

 

What’s in a name?

That your creator, HTC, should make its tallest phone, at 4.3”, also its most attractive. Well, that’s brave. That they should augment it with high-end specs, running the (second) latest version of Android. Well, that’s audacious. That they should top it off with one of the most responsive touchscreens I’ve ever had the pleasure of handling in my delicate, lady-like mitts. Well, that’s plain lunacy.

HTC, why do you torment me so? For months you tease us in Canada with this device. Like a harpy you wink your bezeled eye at me seductively, calling to me like a siren. But we waited! Almost six months we waited for you! But finally, you arrived, and you are more beautiful than I even dared to dream. And, by god, HTC, I dream big.

The Phone

Your heft is spread even, not eagle, and when I hold you, your metal frame is not oversized; you feel comfortable, even pleasurable, in my hand. Your curved features bellow from the heavens, “I am premium,” and yet I feel your warmth here on Earth. Your buttons are, unlike your HD7 cousin, sturdy, but why did you have to move your microUSB and headphone jack to the bottom? Is this some Taiwanese conspiracy?

Your screen is large, bright and colourful, but where are your blacks? Did your parent, HTC, steal your TFT LCD displays from the back of a Chinese truck somewhere, or is it just cost-prohibitive to make a 4.3” screen with accurate blacks? In any case, I forgive you your weaknesses, for your strengths are true: accurate colour, a powerful backlight, readable text. The greater screen area really lends itself well to browsing, eReading and typing, all things I like to do when I touch you. Oh, yes.

Your capacitive touch buttons are comfortably below the screen, which helps me when I’d rather play a game than accidently tap the home button. I had this problem with your cousin, the Desire Z, and I spanked it. Hard. Oh, Desire HD, I really like your backside – it’s so smooth, with a hint of camera protrusion. I forgive the bump (like a baby!) since the camera resolution is 8MP, and there are two LED flashes. Wow. Too bad your creators couldn’t design a unibody backing that combined your separate battery and SIM compartments into one. And, lover, why is your battery cover so hard to remove? When I want to strip you naked, I want to do it sensually. Instead, you make me grunt – in frustration!

Call/Audio Quality

Lover, you sound so good. Telus has a very fast HSPA+ network, and my friends sound sweet from your head grill. Calls were reliable and didn’t drop, even in the most dungeon-like basement. Well done!

What, then, happened to your speaker quality, my dear? Such a big phone and a miniscule mono speaker on the back? Inexcusable. Considering you’re Dolby Mobile- and SRS Wow HD-certified, I’d had loved to hear you sing to me without distortion. Maybe another time…

Camera

Your camera! 8MP! So many #$%*ing expletives want to come out of my mouth. You had an opportunity to defeat your nemesis, the iPhone 4, darling, and sure, your photos are very detailed, especially in sunlight. But wherefore art thou, low-light shots?

Overall, though, I am pleased with your camera shots; macro mode actually focuses your lens correctly, all on its own! And your flash(es). Thank you for not overexposing my indoor photos! Oh, darling, you also do 720p video! True to your creators’ tradition, the quality is excellent and definitely owes itself to the multimedia focus your big, beautiful body. But with great power comes an easily-scratched lens, and whenever I put you down on table, I worried so much I would scratch your lens. How ‘bout a cover next time?

Battery Life…

…we have to talk. Listen, it’s not you, it’s me. I mean, I love you! But unless I’m just sitting all day just looking at you, all gorgeous and serene, you seem to sweat a lot. And, though it doesn’t show through your skin, it escapes as heat and battery loss. I can’t get more than six hours of minimal use from you with your tiny 1230mAh battery! And, sure, I could bring around a second butt-plug battery but considering how difficult it is to remove it in the first place, I’d rather you just lasted longer (I mean, I last long enough, don’t I?).

Hardware

My love, I understand why you’re power hungry. I would be, too, if I had a second-gen Qualcomm Snapdragon MSM8255 1Ghz processor, 768MB RAM, 1.5GB internal memory and 8GB included microSD card, 8MP camera w/ dual LED flash, 720p recording, and a 4.3” 480×800 pixel TFT LCD screen.

But, to your credit, you run like smooth, southern-churned butter. You’re like a breezy Texas day, without a care in the world. Every task, every swipe, every web page, feels so good. Even your in-browser Flash usually runs smoothly. So, why am I hesitant you recommend you? Well, only because I know of the future. I know that you, my dear, have already been replaced by bigger, faster, thinner, smoother, more efficient hardware. For February, 2011, you’re pretty good. But for July, or December, 2011, you’re lackluster; such is the way of the Android phone market. I am sorry, though. Let me love you for now! I promise to give you my undying affection for at least the next two months.

For the rest of us, the humans that don’t demand the very top of the performance pyramid, well, you’re gold. You’re like a Marisa Tomei: you look stunning, but we all know you’re not so young anymore.

It Makes Sense

You look nice. I mean that. HTC’s Sense layer on top of Android 2.2 looks stunning on your 4.3” screen. It scales like a window washer on a tall building. Remember that this is the latest version, with lots of nice improvements like showing my recent apps in the Notification Bar, or expanding the number of proprietary HTC widgets. It also runs very smoothly, and improves over the stock Android experience with its camera, calendar, contacts and mail apps, the latter supporting Exchange out of the box. With access to the Android Marketplace, you’ll never be lonely, especially if you like playing with yourself: there are over 200,000 apps available now, and the number of quality games is improving daily.

I also love your HTCSense.com web portal, which allows me to track you if I ever lose you (KHAN!!!) or backup pictures and SMS messages. Oh, speaking of SMS messages (you’ve got me flustered, I’m all over the place), the keyboard bundled with Sense, especially with the added real estate of your screen, is a joy to use. I love typing on your screen, and can type entire emails comfortably. I haven’t been able to that since, gulp, iOS. Well done, HTC!

Your browser is pretty darn fast, too. Did you know that? I mean, it natively supports full screen, zooms in and out smoothly, and though I wouldn’t quite say you have “tab” support, your windows perform a lot better than in the native browser. And Flash support, too! You make me so happy.

Conclusion

Baby, I need you. I can’t live without you. You’re a 4.3” slab of aluminum goodness. Your unibody design means stronger structural support; your big screen means easier reading; your camera means better high-density photos and videos; your keyboard means accurate typing and easy emails. All that’s really missing is a better quality screen (where are my blacks?) and a dedicated camera button, and you’d be perfect. Well, almost.

As it stands, you’re a flawed, complicated lady, one that deserves a second, third and fourth look. But, when people look at you they need to keep in mind that if they’re shopping for a new superphone, especially an Android device, if they can wait a couple months they’re likely to have a much greater selection to choose from, including the dual-core Motorola Atrix and the Samsung Galaxy Tab II. But, you’re one of the best Android devices released so far in Canada, and that’s no easy feat.

And your parents, HTC, they continue their tradition of high-quality devices, and for that, I salute you. Telus pricing you at $149.99 on a 3-year term puts you right in the same range of the iPhone 4, and honestly, for a lot of people, you’re going to be a tough sell. But I’m certain that when they pick you up, and see the versatility of Android, its widgets and comprehensive multitasking abilities, they’ll make the right decision.

It’s going to be hard giving you up, since your beauty far outweighs your flaws, but I don’t know if I’ll come back. You see, I’m already looking towards the sunset, and your successor is already poking its head out of the shadows.

Farewell.

Check out our initial Desire HD Hardware Overview with video.