My Phone has Feelings Too

We’ve all experienced that infuriating moment when instead of basking in the glory of our conversation with edge of the seat suspense, said companion feels the need to check their phone. How could one have the audacity to suddenly decide that the incessant buzzing, beeping and blinking could be more important than the live spoken word!?

It’s a stinging feeling in the heart when someone decides you’re just not important. But then, one day I had an epiphany.

The world does not revolve around you and I truly hate to break this to you but you are actually not the centre of attention.

Now you might be thinking – isn’t it still rude to be on your phone during social occasions? Common courtesy and sense would point a rational member of society to turn off his or her phone during face to face meetings or where silence is required. Yes, in some instances it is necessary, like during the opening night of a new movie or at your best friend’s wedding. Yet, most social situations fall in the grey area like a casual conversation, or lunch with a group of friends. When is it okay to check your phone?

Especially when “phone” is not the right way to address your phone anymore as dear reader, by reading this I must assume you have a “smart” phone – one that is so smart I sometimes think it has feelings. Having feelings, does it not deserve your undivided attention when it buzzes, beeps or blinks?

It’s a daily battle we all face with real person vs. electronic person conversation. Here are some tips that I have learned over the years or alteast help me rationalize the use of my phone.

• It is okay to use your phone unconditionally from Monday to Friday from 8am to 5:30pm as these are standard working hours. I conveniently forget to put my phone on silent during client meetings, regardless it’s perfectly acceptable to check your phone at the hour mark of a meeting. In some cases, social messaging while the client attends to his/her own pressing business makes you appear very busy – this can work to your advantage.
• It is okay to use your phone when you’re with your friends. At this point, they know you are a phone freak and shouldn’t take offence to it. They are probably checking their phones constantly themselves.

When is it not okay to use your phone:

• On a first date: nothing can be more of a turn off than a guy who decides you are not the centre of the universe.
• At the gym: there is nothing grosser than someone answering the phone while they’re out of breath, it just sounds tacky.
• During a formal occasion: wedding or funeral. Do I need to explain this one?
• On vacation: don’t check messages or communicate with the outside world –Unplug yourself formally. Mild use of Foursquare and Twitter is acceptable.

The Rest of the Time

I would say that the use of your discretion is perhaps your best option for everyday use of your phone in social situations, yet again we are stuck in that grey area region. In the end, always ask your companion or party if the use of your phone during your social visit or gathering is okay. A vote will keep things democratic and hopefully no hearts will be broken or feelings left irate.